So I'm on week 2 of my life as a gestational diabetic. I'm sticking my finger 4x a day to check my blood sugar levels. Luckily I'm only on dietary restrictions so far. When I stick to the eating, everything responds, so I'm very happy with that. At this week's checkup, they were only a little concerned that my fasting/AM tests were slightly high (but not alarmingly so). The good news is that it should level out over the next few weeks. I've come to accept this bump in the road as "the least of my worries." At first I was devastated by having yet another complication. But now I know it's manageable, so I've accepted it and I intend to keep it in check. Another thing I have to laugh at in order to cope. Another item on my "walking disaster" list.
Baby Z is also doing great. She's progressing really nicely, and we're still not seeing any signs of distress. The opposite actually. She's super active, and is starting kick hard enough to shake things up on the outside. She's also using my bladder as a bean bag chair, which is less fun. During her fetal echo yesterday, they had to chase her around again to get the pictures they needed. She was calming down a little for the scans, but this week she was being a little troublemaker - which was OK by me. I'm happy to suck it up and lay uncomfortably for as long as I have to in order to make sure they get good pictures. If I can't be tough, she can't be either, so I dig in every time.
On Monday we go back to Columbia to see another pediatric cardiologist. I'm anxious about this one, hoping to get more answers and more news on the plan. We're also set up for early January for a couple appointments with perinatologists and neonatologists. Plus, we have a consultation with the surgeon set for closer to the due date. I hope we make it that long. I'm afraid if we get that far, I'm going to be a basket case. We've made it this far though. My doctor says 28 weeks is a big milestone, and 32 is another one. So we'll see where we are from there.
I'm trying to enjoy this time of preparation, but I can't help having the hurt loom over my head. I also need to prepare myself emotionally for the post-birth journey and recovery. The NICU process is going to be tough. The surgery process even tougher. I've felt less fragile the last 2 weeks or so, but I feel like I'm just saving up for the big show later on. Either that or I'm just putting it on hold for now, like everything else.
It doesn't even feel like the holidays. We have our tree up, but it's only wearing lights & ribbon. The ornaments have yet to make it on - they're sitting in boxes all over the place though. It's kind of adding to this unprepared feeling I've been having. That, and our house is basically still a construction zone post tree-strike. Painting is finally happening this week. The contractor said the project would take 4 days start to finish. Painting on it's own is taking that long. Why is it that I still believe contractors after all the stories and jokes? Its a stereotype for a reason!
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