Things have been going along well. No less of a roller coaster ride, but we're still feeling optimistic.
After a couple weeks of ups and downs, we finally have a scheduled C-Section! An actual birth date. It's scary, surreal, unreal. It feels like such a long road. In October we were told we'd be lucky to make it to 30 weeks. Now we're at 37 - technically full term. I can't help but get emotional, it's like we achieved something. However, I know we're not in the clear yet.
We really won't know Baby Z's situation until she arrives. She might be close to normal, maybe coming home a couple days after us...or she may need surgery. I think they're anticipating a relatively routine procedure if anything (and I say "routine" knowing it's not really, but for these doctors who deal with a lot of complexity and volume on a daily basis, it could be viewed as routine. ish). I have to keep in mind, it could still end up in full-blown open heart surgery. So I'm hoping for the best, bracing for the worst. I don't think I'm really mentally prepared for the worst though, and it scares me.
It's so strange to know that I'm 100% having a baby in less than 36 hours. It doesn't seem real. It's like planning a vacation that you think will never actually get to. But much much bigger. In my short history, these life-changing moments are not planned, but sneak up on you without warning. I supposed this moment was still up in the air for so long, it's hard to grasp that I have a date and a time that my life will change. And there is a big element of the unknown as well - something could occur that I can't foresee. Maybe that's the most terrifying part.
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