Week 23 & 24: Rollercoaster

It's been an emotional couple of weeks. Between the baby issue, the hole in our kitchen, and busy work schedules, we're running low on steam.

Week 22 was crazy - I had 3 appointments, culminating in a trip to the Pediatric Cardiologists. He's the toughest, because his job is to remain sober about the whole thing. While my other doctors fill me with hope, he has to give me the reality. The reality is, she still is holding on, but so much is unknown. It looked like she had a little fluid around her heart, and from some angles, the heart looked enlarged. It wasn't devastating news, but it definitely was a blow to my hope reserves.

I did learn a big lesson though - no more going to Pediatric Cardiologist appointments on my own. I guess I've just gotten used to going alone with no issues. But it's always so overwhelming when I talk to the PC. It's like speaking another language, while fighting back tears - making concentration a little more than difficult. It's no picnic for Mark either. As soon as he knows I'm in with the doctor, his concentration goes out the window. And it's just torture for him to not be there an hear this first hand. Plus, he misses a chance to see the baby. I get to spend some precious time seeing her bounce around on screen every week, but he doesn't. I wish I could record everyone to show him. I don't think it's worth the emotional cost to either of us for me to go alone. I can't imagine how much harder I unintentionally make it on him when he has to arrive home to a red-faced, disheveled wife.

Week 23 was full of hope because it was time to track growth. It was great news so far. She's almost a little ahead of schedule, weighing in at a whopping 1 lb 9 oz. It means her defect isn't effecting her growth, which is huge! Brain and body was measuring really well! 

This week - now week 24 - has been interesting. I've been a wreck emotionally, maybe because the holidays are coming. I could barely make it through one of my all-time favorite movies - Annie - because I kept thinking about how I may never get to show it to her.

My last ultrasound/fetal echo/doppler appointment was interesting though. The office is trying out a new ultrasound machine since their leases are up. Our complicated case is perfect to really put a new piece of technology through it's paces. The team used a mix of 3D and 2D ultrasounds to see a lot more than they've been able to see before. I think they have some answers to long-standing questions about how this little girl is still going strong. It was amazing to see some of the models they were able to create to get an accurate picture of how her venous system is connecting and working. It was an excruciatingly long scan - 1 hour, 45 minutes to be exact. For a preggo lady, that's a LONG time to be flat on your back. I didn't dare complain, just shifted a little when I felt like I was going to pass out. They seemed to be getting a lot of info, so I didn't want them to stop work!

Coming Soon: Baby Zimmer

Plus, the techs had enough of a challenge trying to chase my little one around. I still believe it's a great sign that she's SO active. So active that she extends the length of every appointment because she won't sit still. My OB said movement is good news. During this marathon ultrasound, baby showed her stubborn side big time. At one point, the tech was pushing down rather hard for an extended period of time. Baby Z wasn't comfortable, and let it be known. She gave a couple of hard kicks right to the scanner. On the last one, the tech said "woah - I felt that one!" I haven't felt her kick that high up yet! If there was any doubt that this little lady had a fighting spirit, it should kicked to the curb.

The best part of the appointment was the end. They took a couple extra minutes to reward me for my aching back by getting a 3D picture of our little one's face! I couldn't believe it when she came into view! The printout isn't as impressive as it was on screen, but totally worth it to get a sneak peek at her little face. Now we soldier on for another week, hoping for more baby portraits to come!